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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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Um, basically everything from my shoulders up right now hurts in some way or another. The show was being awesome by 1,000,000 miles. My guitar didn't get broke lol. The second band was okay, they sounded like they were trying too hard though, you know how that goes. AAM played damn good, as usual. And for one dollar, I got to see (in my opinion) the "new Metallica." The Walls of Jericho were unbelieveably good. They didn't use any clean, so you know it was heavy. They had a chick "singer" too, but she was kinda ick. Lol, yeah tonight was pretty sweet.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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Yeah, I haven't been doing anything very interesting lately. Boarding has been going pretty good, and it feels so good to blow off steam again. Tomorrow is The Walls of Jericho, that's gonna be pretty sweet. Yesterday we (the fam) went bowling with my dad's girlfriend and her kids. They're pretty cool. My dad's talking about expanding our house and building a recording studio, I can not wait for that. I've been collecting footage for my video, it's going pretty slow so I've decided that the video is going to be in "CKY Style" with random stuff, music, skateboarding, snowboarding, and whatever else I can get my hands on/create.
On the latter side of my life, some weird shit's been going down with my friends and whatnot lately; half of me feels bad and the other half doesn't. There's been a certain someone being a really lame bitch lately too, and I'm sure they'll anonymously comment again sooner or later, just to show their maturity level. Haha, it makes me laugh just thinking about, muahaha. Yup, I guess I am a loser, huh "Anonymous?" LOL
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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It's funny how your worst enemies always seem to
turn out to be all of your
best friend's best friends
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I saved to sing you
but I folded, I told
So draw or throw and I will explode
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said
Every time I hear it I am wishing I was great
I wish her... past tense my best friend
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I say to save me
But I folded, I told
I hope she's caught in the explosion
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said
It's time for you to choose
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
Red, gold, I told
We don't play fair
Red, gold, I told
We never stand too close
So I update this almost every single day for you
I begin to hate you for your face and not just the things you do
Go tell him how my wrist is sore
from pulling at your insides all night
Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
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Thank you God! I got to snowboard for the first time in nearly four weeks today! It was the most fun I've had in the 3 years of my career. I was taking it easy for about the first hour, but when I almost landed my first 720 attempt, I knew it was on. Mike Courdom called a pipe session, and it was time to throw down. I start learning McTwists today, they're kinda hard, but I'll get them some time. I might be able to sneek in some filming after all too. YAY!!!!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Well, Marquette is becoming to me what it was to all my friends 2 years ago... a place I'd rather not be. I've been getting closer? to Sarah again... idk. Once again I'm just a confused little boy on the inside, but I almost want to move back down to Saginaw, or go there for college, or something. The point is I really really miss her, and need someone like her again. I don't know, it just seems like she's always happy to talk to me, be with me, etc. She is going to prom with me :D, but that almost doesn't seem like enough to me anymore. It almost feels like moving down there is the only choice I have right now because of things other than just the way I'm feeling about her. I know it's crazy, but even though we've practically been apart for 3 or 4 years, it seems like I've never lost that "something special" with her, it's weird, but I worry more about her than me sometimes. I have nothing else to say, there's a huge cloud in my head right now, but the one thing that keeps showing clear is her...
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, February 28th, 2004
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Yeah, I guess I'm still pretty bummed about the situation, but I guess it's time to move on. Yesterday was pretty fun, me and Zevon cruised around, jumped his car, broke a bike at Walmart, and watched lobsters fight. That was so awesome. Band practice/writing/whatever you want to call it was perfect yesterday. Everyone has 8 million opinions for every 2 seconds of the song. I think the coolest part about it is the fact that we spent 2 hours writing and didn't finish a song! Everyone better watch out, because your expectations don't even understand. Today I have to work till 2 then we're writing some more. That's about all I have to say, I'm out. Peace.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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Alright, I got a little over excited earlier. I talked with Tiffany for a bit tonight, and it looks like things are going to eventually work out :D Hopefully this whole mess will help both of us, but I know one thing: I still think she might be the one. Now I just have to wait...
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Fifteen minutes ago, I thought to myself "I have nothing to write about." Well, I have a new quote today, and that is "the world only takes fifteen minutes to burn to nothing."
It's a fight I've lost
One million times before
And yet again
I've been cast into the shadows
The crowd
Of unforgiving loneliness
Where all I can do is hope
Hope and pray
That you will come back
And this won't be our last goodbye
This life is so unfair
It's so unfair
How one day someone you love
Can just turn around
And say "I'm sorry"
This time I'm not done
And I'll never be through
Untill this time is the last
And I know I'll always be with you
I know I'm not the best
At doing these things
I can try my hardest and you'll never know
That all I try to do
Is make you happy
It's not your fault
But who is to blame
When the one thing you live for
Just blows out the flame
About 10 minutes ago, Tiffany, the one I thought was THE ONE, came online. As usual, it made my shitty day a little better, for one minute. I'd rather not get in to detail, but she mentioned how many friends were over (a good number of them being guys), and told me her mom was making us "take a break." Now I sit here and try to decide what to make of her away message:
*Dnell-Scott, Laura-Tim, Tiff-Tyson... in the other room being *naughty* hahaahah grrr.... RAWR!!!!!!!!!!! nice...:-) hahah you no it baby...haha ROAR!!!
Haha, yes I'm laughing on the outside, maybe. But on the inside right now, I can't feel anything. I guess I'm just becoming numb to this whole situation, and I really don't like it. She was the first girl, since Sarah (which was 3 years ago now), that I seriously felt like my heart melted over, and now it feels like that has just vanished down the drain. What else is new? Once again, I get FUCKED OVER :( It's really not fair, I seriously feel like the biggest failure right now. I thought she'd at least put up a bigger fight about this, but I guess only time will tell now. Who knows whats going to happen besides her and me? I know this, I'm going to wait it out and see what happens, because I know SHE IS WORTH IT, and I really hope she feels the same way, but I'm questioning it big time. I think I'm gonna end up crying myself to sleep tonight, in fact I'm almost positive I will, because I'm nearly in tears right now.
*Tiffany- if you read this, I really want the truth on how you feel, because it didn't seem like you cared much about it to me. I really love you too, please don't let this be the end. Please*
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
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Today was the new band's first practice/song writing session. The band consists of me, Kevin Haynes, and Kyle VanHowe. Things went pretty good for the first day. Everyone tossed a million and a half ideas in about the first half hour. Then we sat down and started organizing 2 songs. It's cool to start from scratch like this. There was a different vibe because everyone put 150% effort in to the whole session, we tried everything- changing keys, changing rythms, simplifiying, adding, you name it, we tried it today. Things are looking pretty hopefull. I'm excited to see what the future brings us, and I think I want a chick singer lol (I've been listening to Tsunami Bomb for the last 40 minutes).
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, February 21st, 2004
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Yeah, lately I've been in a pretty different mood all together. Yesterday I signed up for my senior year classes. Damn! Senior year. This is so much to bear and get adjusted to. In less than a year I'll have to start doing college applications and whatnot. If life was a roller coaster, I don't even think I've left the station yet, it's gonna be a looooong ride. Yesterday Eric and I decided to officially end Six Ways to Sunday :/ Nothing was happening, everyone hated us, and it was just pointless to keep trying.
Today I realized that there is no such thing as a perfect band. Something always goes wrong, no matter what the path taken is. I've been talking to my dad about different people to possibly play with, but his problem is this: they all do drugs. I don't know what to do! I really want to be in a band the rest of my life, but that sounds meerly impossible right now, or maybe I'm just being very nieve. I really don't know where my music life is going right now, but hopefully something happens soon because I really miss planning and playing shows. Maybe I need to find a college out west where I can meet new people and play in a band with people that have my taste in music. The future is scary to think about, but I guess if I don't start preparing for it, it will never come. Damn, I'm just a confused little boy :(
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Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
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Yeah, today was just shit. Battle of the Bands couldn't have gone much worse. Six Ways sucked royal ass hole :( Then, the dick from Casualties and Wonky STOLE OUR SONG! So, we played it (better than them, thank you), and then GOT STOPPED MID SONG, for innapropriate lyrics. I'm sorry, but 1: Rape Me is on the radio; 2: Rape me isn't about sexual rape, therefor not inappropriate; 3: "Rape Me" isn't as inappropriate as "Shoot 'em in the back now." FUCK MSHS
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 16th, 2004
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I can recall only this one time
this kind of control, a girl had on my mind
i've fallen deep i can't get out
I've never acted this way before
I've spent days and nights
in my bedroom
trying to write the perfect song to sing to you
write a song a day but she won't like it anyway
back to the drawing board
with the words you've heard a million times before
Feeling alone and she's on my mind
try to erase all the pain from that time
she's breakin up
and i'm breakin down now
i'm headed out of this fucked up town
I've spent days and nights
in my bedroom
trying to write the perfect song to sing to you
write a song a day but the band won't like it anyway
back to the drawing board
with the words you've heard a million times before
In your head
so love me so i can be myself again
now hate me so things seem normal in my head
i'm trying to break away this ball and chain
so hate me so things seem normal in my head
things seem normal in my head
in your head
I am dead
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  ecstatic. |
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WOO HOO!!! I passed my driving test!!!!!!!!!! Now I have to wait till Tuesday :( Oh well
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, February 13th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:37 pm. |
| Mood: |  bitchy. |
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So once again
Damned to be condemmed
To another night alone
Not even with you on the phone
But why should I care
That it's a heartbreak we share
To spend one more special day
Walking distance away
Valentine's Day sucks
I hate to admit
So all my friends will have fun
But I'll be here all alone
Wishing I could have you
To hold in my arms
But once again I won't
I hate to set off alarms
But Valentine's Day sucks
So once again
I'll get the chance for you to wait
I can't even see you
For a minute let alone a date
But it's worth it in the end
Weaker people will be condemmed
When "too close" is to far
And we're just getting
Another second chance
Yeah, so basically that will be my day tomorrow. Wishing I could at least be with MY Valentine, but no, secretary of state can kiss my ass! Thanks to those wrecks I can't even get my liscence untill Tuesday WHEN MY TEST IS TOMORROW! I seriously wish life wasn't so dificult. Is it too much to ask to be able to see her nearly every day? I guess so, but maybe it's better that way. I still feel closer to her than I have with anybody, maybe it's instinct, but I really do think I have truley found love. And is it just me, or do those sound like better lyrics than the actual ones I just wrote? Wow, I think I'm actually putting my deepest "unable to explain" feelings in to words right now. *If you read this, I just want you to know these feelings are more than words, thoughts, these sentances... but I love you more than you'll ever be able to immagine. Happy Valentine's Day, I really really love you.*
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
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Well, I had to reformat my computer yesterday, so I couldn't communicate with anyone. My day yesterday could not have gone any worse. It was okay untill 3rd hour, when, once again I was lost in Mrs. Hendrickson's sentances about God knows what. Then 4th hour Dylan and I did our presentation and got a B-! I wanted to kick Mr. Regan in the face with cletes. Then 6th hour there was a test, came home and the PC crashed, didn't understand my homework at all. GAH! The only good thing of the whole day was scheduling my driving test, which is Saturday thank God; I can finally go visit Tiffany :D
Today is going much smoother for the most part. School wasn't bad, and I'm starting to understand Algebra again. I went to see the doctor and found out I can't do anything for A MONTH NOW! What happened to 2 weeks :( Oh well, you win some you lose some. I just got done working on parallel parking and am ready to get my liscence. I've got to go get my hair cut in an hour, and then Eric and I are going to see The Minor League! That's gonna be a blast.
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boarderalex14's journal
excited.
busy.
tired.
anxious.
good.
weird.
calm.
crushed.
determined.
pissed off.